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How to Relate to People Without Pissing Them Off

Devin Mehra
3 min readMay 25, 2021

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Focus on emotions, less on experiences.

Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

Imagine this:

You just went through a difficult experience. You’re flustered and need to tell your friend the regrettable event that unfolded.

You could be angry. You could be scared. You could be anxious.

After rehashing the story to your friend, the response your friend provides is something along the lines of “I can relate to that” or “I understand what you’re going through.”

Your friend then goes on a tangent about this one time when something similar happened in their own life.

You come to realize this conversation isn’t making you feel any better. It’s as if your friend hijacked the conversation, and now you’re feeling more angry, scared, or anxious than you did beforehand.

That’s not cool.

What’s the disconnect? Your friend attempted to alleviate your mental cloudiness, only to make matters worse.

There’s got to be another way to work through this.

The Problem With Experiences

Our lives are filled with experiences, good and bad. Of the billions of people who have walked this earth, no one has previously existed (or ever will) that is uniquely…

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Devin Mehra
Devin Mehra

Written by Devin Mehra

Fascinated with social dynamics. Subscribe to my monthly emotional intelligence newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/9f4b3a410509/10freekeypoints

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